​SELFIE-STICK BLUES

When I was young,  I used to play
With my selfie-stick, night and day;
I'd bring it out at parties, Sunday-school too;
At boy scout camp,  it was the thing to do.
I loved my selfie-stick, I loved my selfie-stick,
But now my selfie-stick, it just don't work no more

My first girlfriend, she lived just round the block;
She’d eat burgers and Mars bars round the clock.
I thought my selfie-stick would take her mind off food,
But she said, "It's far too short", and got another dude.
She said my selfie-stick's too short, yeah, my selfie-stick's too short,
Yeah my selfie-stick's too short, it just don't work no more.

I met an older lady, she was full of charm;
She promised she'd take care of me and keep me from harm,
But when I took it out to get us together,
She said, "That thing's all bent, now just don't bother",
She said my selfie-stick's bent, oh, my selfie-stick's bent
Yeah my selfie-stick's bent, it just don't work no more 

My wife and I honeymooned at Acapulco beach;
I was real handsome, she was a peach,
But when I tried to use it in the throes of married bliss
She said, "It won’t fit, honey, we can't do nothing with this".
She said my selfie-stick won’t fit, no, my selfie-stick won’t fit,
My selfie-stick won’t fit, it just don't work no more

And now I'm getting old and well past my prime,
I can tell you something that happens all the time;
Every goddam woman will always try to prick
Your confidence by dissing your selfie-stick.
So just keep on using it, yeah, keep on using it,
Keep on using your selfie-stick until it don’t work no more.